WAS THIS SWIM REALLY NECESSARY?

I've watched a lot of movies thus far in this crazy year of 2020 and I'm sure I'll view many more before the year is over. But I can confidently predict that I won't see anything as remotely weird and just plain bad in the next six months as THE SWIMMER (1968), which I watched for the first time yesterday. 

Based on a 12 page short story by John Cheever (remind me to never read anything with his name on it) that appeared in THE NEW YORKER, THE SWIMMER is the story of one Ned Merrill (Burt Lancaster), who walks through the woods of Connecticut on Sunday morning, clad only in swim trunks. He emerges into the back yard of his friends, the Westerhazys. He swims, without their permission, in their pool. Afterwards, Ned gets the idea that he can "swim home" by moving from property to property, all of which have pools, until he reaches his home where his wife and teenage daughters await his arrival. 

Or so he believes. 

What follows is a series of bizarre encounters as Ned traipses through the woods towards the various pools he has identified as part of the "Lucinda River" (Lucinda is his wife). Ned does more walking than actual swimming but I guess calling the movie THE WALKER probably wouldn't have sold as many tickets as THE SWIMMER, but given how truly terrible this film is, you have to wonder just how many tickets THE SWIMMER did sell. But I digress...

Apparently, no one in Connecticut has fences around their property because at each pool, Ned simply appears, uninvited and unexpected for a swim. His encounters with the various neighbors begin to shed some light on the situation but the information parsed out in each meeting is frustratingly scant.  Has Ned been fired from his job? Has he been away in a hospital, prison or vacation? Has he suffered a breakdown? Whey does everyone look at him funny when he talks about his wife and daughters? Has something happened to them? Is this all a  dream? Is it all taking place in Ned's head? Is he a ghost? How much longer does this thing run? 95 minutes! You're joking. 

At one pool, Ned picks up a young girl, Julie (Janet Landgard), who used to babysit for him. She joins him on his odyssey for a short while before he makes a pass at her (in a genuinely creepy scene), causing her to flee. He finds old flames including Kim Hunter and Diana Muldaur, tries to pick up a single woman (Joan Rivers in her film debut) at a party he crashes, meets an elderly pair of nudists (I'm not making this up), teaches a lonely young boy how to swim in an empty pool (another creepy scene), has an extended confrontation with his former mistress, Shirley (Janice Rule), crosses a busy highway , swims in a hideously crowded public pool and finally reaches his home only to find it boarded up and abandoned as a rain storm opens up, drenching Ned while he pounds on his locked front door and screams. 

The End.

WTF?

I cannot imagine how anyone involved in this production, from star Burt Lancaster to producer/director Frank Perry, to screenwriter Eleanor Perry to the many supporting actors and actresses who appear in the film ever thought that what they were making had any commercial potential at all. Nevertheless, the film did get made in 1966. However, one entire scene had to be recast and reshot and the film ultimately wasn't released until 1968. 

THE SWIMMER is one of those late 1960s films that eschews traditional narrative, character motivations, explanations for their actions and a satisfying ending in which all of the viewer's questions are answered. Instead, the film  simply presents the story (such as it is) and leaves it up to the viewer to fill in the blanks and ascribe meaning to the whole thing. 

What does THE SWIMMER ultimately mean? Apparently, whatever you want it to. For me, it means that I've finally seen this weird, strange film and although I like Burt Lancaster as an actor, found the whole affair a hot, steaming mess of a movie. 

Thumbs down.