MASSACRE MAFIA STYLE

You know you're watching a blatant ripoff of THE GODFATHER (1972) when the film stoops so low as to steal the type font from that Academy Award winning classic. I watched MASSACRE MAFIA STYLE (1975) the other day (recorded off of TCM) and it was not a pleasant experience.

Mario Puzo's bestselling novel THE GODFATHER and Francis Ford Coppola's film version of the book spawned a host of imitators as authors, publishers, filmmakers and movie studios all wanted to cash in on the red hot organized crime mania of the 1970s. Countless books and films were produced and released during this period and it's safe to say that none of them ever met with the degree of success, both commercially and artistically, as did the Puzo and Coppola originals.

Still, that didn't stop people from trying. People like Duke Mitchell who produced, directed, wrote, composed the music for and starred in MASSACRE MAFIA STYLE. Rumor is that Mitchell also catered the film, cleaned the toilets and changed the light bulbs on the sets. The film was originally released as LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON. It didn't do much business under that title and was re-released in 1978 as THE EXECUTIONER. By that time, the mafia movie craze was long over. The film appears to have been re-titled MASSACRE MAFIA STYLE for another go round under the auspices of Grindhouse Releasing.

   Would be auteur Mitchell's talent is not commensurate to his ambition however in this confused and confusing saga of Mimi (Mitchell) a son of Mafia don who climbs his way to the top of the Los Angeles crime organization by killing everyone who gets in his way. As Mimi says (more than once in the film): "You're either in or in the way."

The film opens with Mimi and his partner Jolly (Vic Caesar) brutally killing many of their enemies in an office building massacre. Who knew that so many crooked lawyers, pimps, bookies, front men, muscle for hire and assorted stooges all had their headquarters in the same building? How convenient.

Mitchell strains mightily to give this dreck some semblance of gravitas. He desperately wants it to be as serious and important a film as THE GODFATHER and he does so by hitting many of the same themes: tradition, honor, loyalty, family, betrayal and brutal extermination of enemies. But the low budget, incoherent script and lack of talent in front of and behind the camera all conspire to keep this mess strictly drive-in and urban grindhouse fare.

MY FAMOUS MONSTERS 55

Great painting of the immortal Vincent Price as he appeared in MADHOUSE graces the cover of FAMOUS MONSTERS #109. Other features in this issue include SON OF KONG and television's Monster Hall of Fame.

MY FAMOUS MONSTERS 54

A terrific Basil Gogos painting of the Hideous Sun Demon graces the cover of FAMOUS MONSTERS #106. Features in this issue include THE GOLDEN VOYAGE OF SINBAD, TALES THAT WITNESS MADNESS and TV's DRACULA starring Jack Palance (one of my all-time favorite actors in an outstanding performance).

I've got an original lobby card from HIDEOUS SUN DEMON framed and hanging on the wall of the man cave. A double bill of HIDEOUS SUN DEMON and INCREDIBLE PETRIFIED WORLD, both starring Robert Clarke, was the opening night feature of the Drive-In Double Feature film festival that I was a part of back in the summer of 1994. Remind me to tell you the full story of that illustrious endeavor one of these days. It involves the aforementioned Robert Clarke and the one and only Forrest J. Ackerman. Stay tuned!

DRUG OF CHOICE

Hard Case Crime (my favorite book publisher) recently reissued (in handsome trade paperback editions) the first eight novels that the late Michael Crichton wrote while he was still in Harvard Medical School. Written under the pen name "John Lange", the novels are DRUG OF CHOICE, EASY GO, ODDS ON, SCRATCH ONE, ZERO COOL, THE VENOM BUSINESS, GRAVE DESCEND and BINARY. ODDS ON. Of these eight, two (ZERO COOL and GRAVE DESCEND) were previously published in mass market format by Hard Case. I've read both of those along with BINARY (I had a copy of the original Bantam paperback edition on my shelf for years without knowing that "John Lange" was really Michael Crichton).

I finished reading DRUG OF CHOICE on Christmas morning. I can't be too critical of this book because while Crichton was paid for his work, he was not at the time a full-time author. Bestseller status and major motion pictures were still a ways off in his future at the time he wrote this book (and the others) but even at this early stage of his writing career you can see that Crichton knew how to keep readers turning pages by offering a suspenseful plot based on current (or not too-far-distant) technology.

DRUG OF CHOICE starts out as a medical mystery when Dr. Roger Clark is presented with two different emergency room patients. One is a Hell's Angel biker, the other, a beautiful movie star. Both patients are in apparently drug induced comas and both eventually awaken with no ill after effects. Except for one thing: the urine of both patients is blue.

Clark soon becomes involved with the beautiful movie star as he tries to unravel the mystery of the blue urine. His investigation leads him to a scientific consortium known as Advance Industries, which appears to be involved with research and development of several different cutting-edge technologies. Among them, a Caribbean resort that appears to be a perfect paradise. Before you know it, Clark and movie star Linda are on their way to the island where, of course, everything is not as it seems.

This appears to be the first time that Crichton used the trope of a technologically advanced resort in which the technology goes awry with disastrous results, a theme he would later develop in the film WESTWORLD (1973) and his mega-bestseller JURASSIC PARK (1990). But the island paradise storyline soon runs its' course only to be replaced by a plot element in which Clark (now coerced into working for Advance) helps in the creation of a female pop star and her backing band. Again, this is a story element that Crichton expanded upon in his film LOOKER (1981). But the birth of "Glow Girl" is still not the end of this tale which ultimately finds Clark framed and on the run from his former friends and allies before he finally turns the tables on the evil mad scientists by blowing up the Advance Industries corporate headquarters

DRUG OF CHOICE is a fast paced, quick read although the ending does seem a little rushed. Crichton is already sounding the warning drum against the unintended consequences of modern science and technology  and as I noted previously, he does keep you turning the pages. However his characters are cliched, the dialogue occasionally stilted and just when you think you know what the book is going to be about, Crichton throws in another idea that's never really fully developed. Still, DRUG OF CHOICE is worth reading if only to see how Crichton got his start.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

"A LITTLE LAUGHTER, A LITTLE TEAR..."

I first learned about the silent film THE UNHOLY THREE (1925) in the pages of, what else, FAMOUS MONSTERS. I don't recall which issue (or issues, to be precise) but when I was a kid and a regular reader of FM Forry ran many stories devoted to the incredible Lon Chaney and his films. THE UNHOLY THREE was often mentioned, along with the occasional still from the film. I so desperately wanted to see this film (and many others that I read about) but the odds of having access to a silent film anywhere in the 1960s were pretty slim. Nevertheless, I had an itch that went unscratched until a couple of nights ago when, thanks to TCM, I finally got to see it.

Despite being ballyhooed in the pages of FAMOUS MONSTERS and the one-two punch of genre director Tod Browning and star Chaney, UNHOLY isn't a horror film. It's weird, bizarre and creepy in parts but the film is more of a crime thriller mixed with a love story. 

Chaney plays Echo, a carnival ventriloquist who teams up with strongman Hercules (Victor McLaglen) and pure evil little person Tweedledee ( Harry Earles) to form the title trio. They're aided by the lovely Mae Busch who plays the sweet pickpocket Rosie O'Grady. The three set up a pet shop as a front for their criminal activities and hire unknowing sap Hector McDonald (Matt Moore) to run the store. The scheme concocted by Chaney is brilliant. He poses as a kindly old woman who can communicate with the birds the shop sells (he's really throwing his voice, a neat trick in a silent film). Rich customers buy the birds who of course, do not talk once they're in their new homes. Mrs. O'Grady (Chaney) is then called to the homes of their customers to make the birds talk and, to use the vernacular "case the joint". The trio return later to rob the homes. But things take a deadly turn when Hercules and Tweedledee pull a job without Echo and end up murdering the wealthy owner of a fabulous ruby necklace. 

Chaney is outraged at the blood on their hands and when a police detective comes calling, they decide to foist Hector off as the fall guy by secreting the gems in his apartment. To complicate matters further, Hector and Rosie have fallen in love while Echo is burning an unrequited torch for the young lady. Hector is arrested, the trio flees, taking Rosie and a hitherto unseen very large ape (!) along to their country hideout. Rosie tells Echo that if he'll do something to exonerate Hector she'll stay with him forever. Echo goes to the courtroom and uses his ventriloquism to help Hector. Hector is acquitted and Rosie keeps her promise to stay with Echo. 

In a final scene, Echo tells Rosie she's free to go with Hector. As she leaves, Echo uses his dummy to say "goodbye pal" to her. She stops, turns around and looks at him and Chaney's performance in this short scene is nothing short of miraculous. He uses his eyes, his face and his whole body to convey the emotions that he's feeling and the result is one of the most heartbreaking moments I've ever seen in films (silent or sound). It brought a genuine lump to my throat and a tear to my eye. And here I thought I was going to see a horror film!

THE UNHOLY THREE was a huge hit for MGM and it was remade in 1930 by Browning and Chaney in what was Chaney's only "talking" picture before his untimely death due to throat cancer. Anyone who thinks silent films are too old and outdated to be worth watching needs to see this film. It is pure cinema using images, story and most importantly, actors using all of their skills to create three-dimensional characters that you genuinely care about. The result is a compelling, engaging film that earns my highest recommendation. It took me more almost fifty years to see THE UNHOLY THREE. It was definitely worth the wait.

"AND THE LEONARD PINTH GARNELL AWARD FOR MOST PRETENTIOUS CODSWALLOP OF THE YEAR GOES TO..."

I recently watched the final episode of THE STORY OF FILM on TCM. This ambitious 15 part documentary does just what it's title says, it tells the story of film from the very beginning right up to present day. I saw most of the episodes and while I must admire the amount of work, research, interviews and film making that went into making this behemoth of a series, I must confess to having a few quibbles with the production.

Let's get one thing clear right from the start. This series is not just about Hollywood history and American film.While key American movies are included in the series, the primary focus is on world cinema and thus features films from almost every country on the globe. While that's certainly admirable, many of the films that were featured are extremely obscure "artsy-fartsy" films that have most likely never had an American theatrical release outside of New York and Los Angeles. Oh sure, they've probably received screenings at various international film festivals and I suspect many of these films have been written about in the pages of Film Comment magazine (and other publications). But the question is, how many people outside of the respective countries of origin have actually seen these films? And of those members of an admittedly narrow and specialized audience, how many really and truly liked them? I must confess that I saw very little in the clips presented in the series that made me want to see any of these films (provided they're even available from any source).

Filmmaker Mark Cousins and TCM host Robert Osborne co-introduced each episode and the contrast between the two was striking. Robert Osborne was always impeccably attired and well-groomed. He came across, as he always does, as a consummate professional. He's genial and knowledgeable and he does his job extremely well. Cousins, on the other hand, looked like he just got out of bed ten minutes before the cameras started rolling. The man doesn't appear to own any pairs of socks or a comb of any kind. His droning, monotone voice over becomes wearying after awhile and the way he pronounces "innovative" (as he does in every episode) always cracked me up.

The final episode, which covered post 9/11 cinema, focused once again primarily on foreign films. Only three non-documentary U.S. produced films were included in this final roundup. The films were James Cameron's AVATAR (which I didn't care for), THE ASSASSINATION OF JESSE JAMES BY THE COWARD ROBERT FORD (one of the ten worst films I've seen in the last ten years) and MULHOLLAND DRIVE ( I will not see a single frame of film shot by David Lynch). And it's not just that Cousins finds these films notable out of all of the American films produced in the last ten years. It's that he finds some hideously obscure film from Thailand (I'm not making this up) far more "innovative" and better. Are you kidding me?

I think Cousins has justly won the award that we're presenting to him this evening. Too bad there's no financial component attached to this prestigious award. Cousins could use the money to not only buy a pair of socks and a comb but an entire wardrobe because, let's face, this emperor's nekkid.