Friday, October 19, 2012

EXTREME CHEAPSKATES


I'll admit it: I'm cheap.
Hell, yesterday I picked up a penny (a penny!) off of the sidewalk and happily put it into my pocket.
Whenever I go to the post office, a Starbucks, a convenience store, a fast food place, etc., I'm always looking at the floor in front of the counter. That's where small change often ends up. Coins fall out of people's hands, pockets and purses all the time and many times, people don't bother to pick them up. Or, they don't pick up all of their change at the end of their transaction. However it gets there, that money on the floor is mine to claim. And you bet I do.
I could list other ways in which I'm frugal (and some of my old friends who read this blog may want to provide some first hand examples) but I'm nothing compared to the woman on the premiere episode of TLC's EXTREME CHEAPSKATES. I'm cheap. She's crazy.
The episode featured a young woman who works as a CPA in New York City, so you know she must make a pretty good living. She owns her own apartment, a solitary confinement cell of a place that consists of one room, a tiny galley style kitchen and a bathroom. The place is so small, you have to step outside to change your mind.
This woman has furnished the space entirely with scavenged furniture she rescues from dumpsters. Needless to say, nothing matches and nothing looks very comfortable (her "bed" is a pile of yoga mats) but she's proud of the fact that she's never bought a piece of furniture in her life.
She also doesn't invest in toilet paper (she washes her self with soap and water), she does her laundry in the shower, she cooks her meals on a two-burner plug in hot plate and uses her oven and dishwasher for storage. She reuses paper towels from public restrooms and uses a binder clip to hold up her twelve-year-old shorts whose elastic waistband is completely shot to hell.
Worst of all, she dumpster dives for food and then serves a mess of stale, spoiled and highly questionable foods to her friend from college and his girlfriend. Gross!
This woman clearly has the money to spend and clearly chooses not to. But what in the name of Scrooge McDuck is she saving it up for? C'mon, lady, it won't kill you to spend a little money.
I can't believe I just said that.

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